Talk Back with Ellen Wood

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I’m 87!

Tuesday, December 5th, 2023

Ellen Wood of Taos NM is an award-winning author as well as an artist using the name, Maruška. The website for her books and paintings is www.NorthernNewMexicoArtists.com/ellen-wood. Contact Ellen at ellen@howtogrowyounger.com

  Author of Book “The Secret Method for Growing Younger: Volume 2 – 7
  Mind Body Spirit Self-Help Practices to Reverse Memory Loss and Have More Joy! Joy! Joy!” $14.95
  Click to buy on Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/dp/172357497X
. Formerly titled: “Joy! Joy! Joy! 7 Mind Body Spirit Practices to Relieve Stress and Anxiety, Reverse Memory Loss and Live Happy”

  Co-author of Book “LATE BLOOMERS: The Movement – Literary Gems by Taos Boomers in Their Prime” $14.95
  Click to buy on Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1072373769

Ellen Wood
Columnist and Award-winning Author
www.HowToGrowYounger.com

Depression Runs in My Family

Monday, September 12th, 2022

When I was three years old, my mother spent time in a mental institution (called an insane asylum in those days) after my brother Joe was born. Later in life, Joe became a Vietnam vet who never fully recovered emotionally after he returned home from war. My sister also suffered from severe depression.

My first deep depression was in 1973 when the business my first husband and I had went bust during the recession that year. I went to bed and stayed there, unable to lift my head from the pillow. A horrible feeling of dread and panic consumed me.

Silently I grieved for my four terrified children who ranged in age from 4 to 13. Seeing their almost-catatonic mother lie in bed day after day for weeks scared the hell out of them. Knowing the pain I caused them made my pain even more severe.

As I write this, I can picture them coming into my room, sitting on my bed, watching my face; their lips quivering from holding back tears. The youngest didn’t hold back though. She wailed for me. They’d all snuggle up close; the younger ones burrowing under the covers until my bed looked like bumps on the top crust of a homemade apple pie.

In those days it was shameful to admit that you needed help solving mental problems. Or even to talk to anyone about something potentially embarrassing that was happening in your family, so I did not get any medical help or emotional support.

The end of my depression began several weeks later when a friend visited and left a book, Mystic Path to Cosmic Power by Vernon Howard, next to me on my pillow. Even though I had already read it several times in the late 1960s, I slowly began to read it again. The spiritual practices in that book reminded me of the soul-soothing inner work they had provided me in the past and I began practicing them again. Little by little I pulled myself out of that frightful nightmare. Life returned to normal.

Almost two decades later, my second major episode of clinical depression happened. My primary care doctor put me on an antidepressant, and it worked! The medication allowed me to be normal, like a well-tended pressure cooker.

It worked so well that I actually forgot what the ravages of life – which were now manageable – felt like before antidepressants. However, some spiritual teachers that I admired harshly criticized the use of antidepressants and I took it to heart. Ten years after getting on the antidepressant, I decided I was strong enough to come off it. So I did.

That was a big mistake. It had saved my life and given me the psychic space to actually have a life again – a wonderful life. After several months of abstinence from the medication, that dreadful horror descended on me again. I could not remember how it felt not to be depressed. I could not imagine what joy felt like.

I went back on the antidepressant (this time at a higher dose) and it took over a month to kick in. But it worked! I love my life – it’s fun, exciting and often blissful – and yes, it has to include the medication. I am not weak; I am strong enough to recognize my need for medical support. Now I bless the antidepressant and am determined never to go off it again.

Perhaps my journey into and out of the depths of despair will encourage someone who is suffering from depression to seek medical help. If you have any comments, please add them below. Thanks.

Love and Blessings,
Ellen

TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS

Tuesday, March 8th, 2022

Are you your biggest critic? I sometimes am – I’m always looking for perfection. But I have a trick up my sleeve for changing my perspective: I try a little tenderness. That means loving myself exactly as I am, especially those parts of my personality and body I wish were different.

How about you? Do you love yourself just as you are? Or do you judge yourself harshly? Think of how difficult it would be if you were working on a new project and a drill sergeant was hovering over your shoulder shouting at you – telling you how inept you are, screaming into your ear that you’re worthless and have no talent and how could you possibly think you could handle that new project. Part of loving yourself is catching your mind when it goes into self-criticism.

If your focus is on what you don’t like about yourself, you’ll attract more of the same: images in the mirror you don’t like and aches and pains you don’t want. That’s what it’s like if you’re trying to create new habits in the face of self-judgment. The love I’m talking about gradually ripples out and touches the whole of humanity.

Moment to moment we’re creating our lives. Often, we’re not even consciously aware that we’re creating. Our thoughts, beliefs and memories are influencing what we’re creating, even at a cellular level: every day 300 billion cells in our body die and new ones are created without our conscious direction. Emotionally, we are more likely to experience events that stimulate the emotions we ‘practice’ most often. Of course, we don’t want to be creating more insecurity or Covid weariness, but as we concentrate on these emotions, we’re creating more of the same. When you surrender critical thoughts of yourself and open to inspiration, your steps are taken not alone, but with the Divine. And with the Divine, you walk with joy.

Love and Blessings,
Ellen

PANDEMIC GOOD NEWS!!

Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

No, I’m not going to talk about the eased mask restrictions or the sharp decline in COVID-19 cases or the remarkable number of vaccinated U.S. citizens. You’ve heard all that good news already.

No doubt you’ve had your fill of bad news, too. We lost over 600,000 people to the pandemic; overall deaths in our country increased 17% last year over the previous year, largely because of COVID; and there are quite a few coronavirus survivors with long-term health issues. All this plus there are many people still without jobs and we continue struggling with the Divided States of America.

But there’s really good news you may not have heard. During 2020, our country experienced a 6% decrease in the number of suicides – the sharpest annual drop in four decades!

This statistic is surprising, since Americans have reported increased depression, anxiety and substance use during the pandemic. Experts say a major reason for the downward trend in suicides is that people tend to be more open about their feelings and are more inclined to rally around each other during times of crisis, such as a pandemic or war. Dr. Christine Yu Moutier, chief medical officer of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention said, “It’s hard to determine exactly why suicide deaths decrease during times of crisis, but we have seen this in other statistics like the 1918 Spanish Flu.”

I would express it as an overall increase in kindness and compassion. The whole world really is getting better and kinder. After all, we don’t spend Saturday afternoons watching the lions eat the Christians, or enjoy snacking at public hangings in the town square.

I’m one recipient of the virtues of kindness and compassion. My family has always been kind to me and each other; however, their caring has been particularly pronounced since the pandemic began. Neighbors have called often to see if I was okay and if I needed anything; good friends frequently brought me homemade juice and cooked meals. I hardly ever went to the supermarket because someone always volunteered, including my grandsons in Taos. And this is a minor instance of kindness but one I appreciated: a couple months ago I was in line outside at Copy Queen and when it was his turn, the masked man standing six feet in front of me said, “I’d open the door for you, but… you know, social distancing.”

Northern New Mexico is teeming with kindness and compassion. A common risk factor for suicide among youths is drug and alcohol abuse. Luckily, we have organizations that work with young people to help prevent substance abuse, like Questa’s Vida del Norte Coalition and Taos Alive.

Yes, charitable behaviors and tenderness are markedly increased during this pandemic. That’s because kindness and compassion are also contagious and they’re spread by many little instances of these virtues on an individual level. I’m going to make a commitment to watch for and act on any opportunity to be kind to someone. Will you join me?

Is your name right for you?

Saturday, February 13th, 2021

Have you ever considered giving yourself a different name? I did. It was on December 6, about a week or so after I had started painting again after more than 50 years of not picking up a paintbrush. I felt exhilarated – encouraged by my newfound delight in expressing myself on canvas.

I knew immediately that I wanted a new name and that name was Maruška, my father’s middle name. He was born on December 6 and died on December 6, and that day in 2020 was the 40^th anniversary of his death. I thought of him frequently throughout the day and instead of putting Ellen Wood on my painting, I decided to put Maruška. I also felt inspired to include a heart in each of my paintings.

How do you feel about your own name? If you love it, great. But if you feel it doesn’t quite resonate with who you are now, change it. Some of my friends have and they feel more at ease, “more ME,” as one had said. It doesn’t have to be your legal name – just your “heart” name.

Some people are given spiritual names and their new name fits them like a glove. The Dharma name given to me by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche in a private ceremony in 2002, did not. The name itself is a mouthful: Karma Konchok Wangmo, but I also felt unworthy of the meaning, Possessor of Supreme Rare Jewel.

My name at birth, during Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s first term in office, was Eleanor Bilansky and I was named after the President’s wife, a woman I greatly admire. (My dad always called me Eleanorka.) Eleanor means Light; Bilansky means White. White Light sounded pretty good to me when I found that out a few years ago. But by then, it was many decades after I had gone to live in NYC and changed my first name to Ellen. Then I married and became Ellen Wood. Except for the year I modeled in New York and the agency owner changed my name to Ilona Wood, I’ve been Ellen Wood ever since.

Three books later, I’m ready for my new name. Why? Because I’m a different person now. I’m a painter as well as a writer.

Maruška has a smile on top of the s to give it a “sh” sound and I really like the name. Not Maruška Wood – just Maruška. A single name. Like Sting, who used to be Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner, or like Twiggy or Cher or Plato. Maruška means, “bitterness, beloved, wished-for child.” Bitterness? Well, “White Light” sounds better but besides being beloved, why not a bit of bitterness? Imagine Key Lime Pie without the tartness of that citrusy fruit. Imagine mild-mannered reporter, Clark Kent, without the zing of Superman. How bland and tedious those stories would be.

During Covid isolation and with the lack of social contact, it’s time for reflection. How do you feel about yourself? Perhaps a new name will help you shed your skin of old energy. Mull over a new name and say it to yourself over and over to feel its vibration in your heart.

Whether you take a new name or not, may you come to know the joy of expressing yourself in a different way. Let’s co-create a new world together.

Love and Blessings,
Maruška

How can we cure the blues?

Sunday, December 6th, 2020

Yesterday I sat here feeling somewhat blue, thinking about how this Covid virus is crushing lives – actually taking the lives of some and taking the livelihoods of others. It took my business, and I was wishing this sadness would just disappear.

And then I remembered one of the most important habits I had been practicing before this damndemic became a crisis: do something good for someone every day.

It’s amazing how it can take my mind off my predicaments when I have the task of doing something good for someone each day. A sticky note on my counter says: HOW CAN I HELP SOMEONE TODAY? but it had gotten buried over in that kitchen counter corner with grocery lists, other notes and a bottle of hand sanitizer. Today my reminder was that little voice inside my head that noticed I was complaining and it said: wake up. You’re supposed to do something good for someone and you haven’t done anything yet today. So I gave my mind the job of finding what I should do and for whom and that complaining voice stopped.

Try it. It can be just a simple thing – not anything major like mowing your neighbor’s lawn. It can be mindfully feeding the birds or making a phone call to check in with a lonely person or mentally sending Love and Light to someone who needs healing. You can brighten someone’s day by paying them a compliment; or brighten your own day by biting your tongue instead of gossiping.

Or just think of a few of your blessings and say, Thank you, thank you, thank you to All That Is or no one at all.

When you’re thinking of what you can do to be kind to someone, remember to be good to yourself. Our very nature is loving, kind and joyful but if you’re like me, you sometimes get weighed down with self-judgment and fear and that’s when you just need a little TLC. So pamper yourself. Tell the family you’re unavailable for one hour; then go take a long bubble bath or go to your man cave and tinker around.

I want to tell you about something good my father used to do for my mother. I especially want to tell you this today because it’s December 6, St. Nicholas Day, and my dad, Nicholas Bilansky, was born on December 6 and died on December 6 so it’s my way of honoring him on his special day.

Daddy was aware that Mom was very intelligent but physically and emotionally fragile. Being an old-country guy from Czechoslovakia, my father felt housework was for women – but whenever Mom was in the hospital when we were little, he would wash clothes in the cellar where the washer and rinsing tubs were, put them through the wringer, and then hang the clothes outside on the line. And here’s the kicker: he did that at night so the neighbors wouldn’t see him hanging up laundry – women’s work!

That was his way and I respected that about him. Daddy showed love for his family by doing something that needed to be done, even though he didn’t want to do it. But he did it his way. We all have our own way of doing something good for someone – we just need to remind ourselves to do it every day.

Love and Blessings to you – and Happy Birthday, Daddy!

WHEN LIFE SUCKS

Sunday, November 15th, 2020

I do NOT want to die when life sucks. When life sucks, my vibration is low, my mind is going lickety-split in all directions, my gut feels like someone gave it a blast with a laser gun, and there’s no love in my heart. Well… that last part isn’t exactly true: even when life sucks, if I squeezed my heart hard enough, smidgens of love would come out for my family, my country, my friends, dogs, cats without fleas and my potted plants.

Don’t you agree that that would be a terrible time to die? When life sucks? Not that I’m planning on dying any time soon. But my birthday on November 18 is a big one since astrologists say that turning 84 marks my Uranus Return. I don’t really know what that means except that there’s a good possibility I could die around then (I’ll let you know if I did or didn’t in my next newsletter).

I like better what I read on the website, rebelastrology.net: “By the age of 84 and the Uranus return, one hopes, an octogenarian can make an unbelievable breakthrough, living brilliantly and teaching the rest of us how to live. The full genius of one’s individuality, shed of conventional expectations, can now shine through.”

One hopes.

Right now, my life is pretty darn good and I have a lot to be grateful for. But, even so, I’m sort of a mess agonizing about the results of the Senate run-off election in Georgia and I still have almost two months to suffer.

Or not. It all depends on whether I stick to my practices, one of which is to keep reminding myself to let go of the outcome. Of everything. But especially the run-off election – I am too invested in the outcome. I want a tranquil mind.

There are only two steps to this practice:

1. Do everything I can about the situation.
   I can’t just sit around moaning and complaining while others do all the work. I need to do my part with dignity and conviction. So okay, I’m donating to my two preferred candidates and I’ve offered to write postcards and do texting. And I’m praying.
2. Let go of the outcome.

This is the tough part. I need to trust and surrender that whatever happens, it’s for the best, and to mean it! Then I release the outcome and the charged energy of the situation by closing my eyes, taking a few deep breaths and focusing my attention on my heart. For advanced heart-brain harmonization techniques, check out Gregg Braden’s books and retreats. He’s New Mexico’s NY Times bestselling author!

Of course, you can bet that on January 5^th I’ll be glued to the TV, but think of all the time in between when I can just live calmly and peacefully. Oh… but what if my candidates don’t win? I do NOT want to die when life sucks.

Love and Blessings,

Ellen

I LIVE WITH A MANIAC!

Monday, August 17th, 2020

She never shuts up. Talks incessantly. Trump! Trump! Trump! She’s obsessed with him. Very opinionated about everything.

Like any garden-variety maniac, she’ll get upset about things over which she has absolutely no control. Like the time we were flying back from Australia and on the last leg of our trip, the small plane encountered a storm and was bouncing up and down and sideways.

The truth is, she couldn’t do a darn thing about the situation. But she panicked anyway – grabbed the arm of the young man sitting next to her, who was completely flummoxed by her imposition.

She… who says she’s unafraid of death! She… who says that when she dies, she wants to leave while experiencing a high-frequency vibration. What does she think would happen if the plane plummeted from the sky and crashed? If not death, what? Unafraid? Hah!

Sometimes she says: “I’m happy. Life is good.” I love hearing that and I must say her little chats with herself give me good dialogue when I’m writing fiction.

But her relentless narration of everything she sees, everything she’s thinking; her agreeing with herself, her arguing with herself, drives me crazy.

Here’s a sample: “How awful! No more recycling of plastic or glass in Taos. What a sin.” Then, “Oh, come on. You used to grumble about having to separate all that stuff anyway. Now you pretend you’re so holy and caring about the environment?”

That’s how her conversation with herself sounds. But you know what? I’m glad I’m telling you all this because it means I’m aware of her – I’m

witnessing her – and watching my thoughts is my number one daily practice that’s helping me along my path to youthfulness and joyful living.

She’s been talking inside my head for more years than I can remember, but I wasn’t aware of her constantly jabbering and complaining about aging until 15 years ago. That’s when I “woke up” and realized my beliefs and programming about getting old were creating a life that I did not want.

I heard things like, “I’m going to die of Alzheimer’s just like my mother did.” And, “I have no energy anymore.” And “I’m too old to date.” And “Sure, I’ll go to your house for the 4^th of July – if I’m still alive.”

That voice was also giving me organ recitals: “Old age is tough on my intestines.” And “My goodness, the risk of a heart attack increases dramatically for men after age 45 and for women after age 55.”

How about you? Ever notice how that person inside your head is always rambling on – sometimes firing up your creativity – sometimes leaving you stressed out and exhausted?

Well, if your answer is yes, you have noticed, then yay! Just being aware of the voice inside, without judgment, as often as you can is an enormous step toward freeing yourself from mental melodrama.

TURN UP YOUR LIGHT

Sunday, April 5th, 2020

At 83, I’m definitely in the high-risk group for coronavirus, but no, I’m not going to tell you to wash your hands and use antiseptic wipes when putting gas in your car. You’ve already heard or read the precautions for avoiding the coronavirus and it’s all good information.

Instead, I want to share what I consider to be equally important: avoid like the plague fear and worry. Anxieties weaken your immune system, which is the defense mechanism the body uses to keep you safe from bacteria and viruses. It’s natural to ingest germs and bacteria and it’s your body’s immune system’s job to destroy them quickly to keep you from getting sick. However, fear and worry create the stress hormone Cortisol which weakens your immune system and makes it harder to fight off the intruders.

I’m a big worrywart. I know it and it’s one of the reasons I have daily practices to elevate myself from fear and worry. Although I more frequently wash my hands now, dying of coronavirus is not a big concern for me. I know that death will happen one way or another, and at this age, sooner rather than later. Instead, my fear is how coronavirus affects my quality of life while I’m still on earth.

I’ve been using affirmations and my habitual saying, “Something good will come of this,” but those just seem to be all about me: my fears, my livelihood, my hopes.  Recently while talking with my daughter Summer, she suggested taking my concerns of coronavirus and its economic effects out of the realm of fear and into helping the world. For example, she suggested that when I wash my hands, I could say, “I take action for the good of all. May we all be healthy and live in a healthy, sustainable earth.” Helping the world could also be advocacy for immigrants, or calling a loved one or community member, or meditating to help cultivate presence. Whatever the form, seeing the situation as a call to service realigns us with positive, inclusive solutions, Summer said. She is so wise.

Spiritual teacher, Donna Mitchell-Moniak, says that opening our hearts to compassion and love and empathy for fellow human beings strengthens our heart-lung respiratory system. In her latest meditation blog, blazinglight.net, she says, “Pray for others, pray for humanity and the world. Radiate the goodness in your heart. Doing so fosters kindness, calm and empathy in others while also energetically supporting your immune system.”

Yes, my worries have turned down the light of my soul and distracted me from keeping my heart open. If they have for you too, let’s work together to turn up the LIGHT and radiate it out into the world.

Love and Blessings,

Ellen

A Practice for Growing Younger That Really Works!

Sunday, February 16th, 2020

One of my greatest secrets for youthfulness is The Five Tibetan Rites of Rejuvenation. These 2500-year-old physical movements were designed to make you grow younger and they really work!

No, I don’t look younger, but the early symptoms of Alzheimer’s disappeared, I have tons more energy and I’m very healthy at 83.

It was in southern California in the early 1930s when Peter Kelder met ‘Colonel Bradford,’ an old, retired British army colonel who told Kelder an amazing story. While stationed in India in the early 1900s, Colonel Bradford had heard rumors of Tibetan monks who had learned to reverse the effects of aging.

Years later when Kelder met the colonel again, he could hardly believe his eyes. Despite his advanced years, Bradford appeared to be a youthful man. Colonel Bradford told Kelder he had searched for and found the monks’ Tibetan monastery. There he had learned the Tibetan Rites of Rejuvenation and began practicing them. Kelder was so astonished to see Bradford’s youthfulness that he learned the Rites and in 1939, brought this monastic Tibetan wisdom to the Western world with the publication of his book, The Eye of Revelation. In 1985 Harbor Press renamed and published Kelder’s book as The Ancient Secret of the Fountain of Youth.

Known as The Five Tibetans, these Rites had been kept secret in Himalayan monasteries for centuries because they were considered to be a path to higher consciousness, with side benefits of physical strength, vitality, youthfulness and virility. Only men were allowed to learn and perform these physical movements back then.

The Five Tibetans are performed daily as a moving meditation with the intention of altering the practitioner’s mind/body energy. Though physical, the Rites are not a fitness regimen – this practice was designed to align the energetic field to support rejuvenation and spiritual, holistic wellbeing. Today, men and women all over the world are practicing the Rites and reaping the benefits.

I have been practicing the Rites daily since 2004, and was happy to learn in 2010 of a new edition of Kelder’s book, The Eye of Revelation: The Ancient Tibetan Rites of Rejuvenation, edited by J.W. Watt and published in 2008. It gives greater details about the correct way to perform these Rites.

As Watt remarks in his introduction, “There is something very mysterious about the ancient Tibetan Rites of Rejuvenation: they work – against all odds they actually work. We don’t know how, we don’t know why; but we truly believe that anyone giving the Rites a fair trial will meet with surprising success.” I highly recommend that you explore this resource and The Ancient Secret of the Fountain of Youth if you want to learn more about The Five Tibetans.

Before 2004 I had never been athletic or gone in much for exercise of any kind, but I’ve become a passionate advocate for the Tibetan Rites of Rejuvenation – because they really work!

I’ve posted a brief video in which I show the correct way to do the five primary exercises. You can watch it by  scrolling down to the third video on this home page. If you don’t already practice yoga or something similar, I suggest you first get your doctor’s permission.

Love and Blessings,

Ellen

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