Is your name right for you?
Have you ever considered giving yourself a different name? I did. It was on December 6, about a week or so after I had started painting again after more than 50 years of not picking up a paintbrush. I felt exhilarated – encouraged by my newfound delight in expressing myself on canvas.
I knew immediately that I wanted a new name and that name was Maruška, my father’s middle name. He was born on December 6 and died on December 6, and that day in 2020 was the 40th anniversary of his death. I thought of him frequently throughout the day and instead of putting Ellen Wood on my painting, I decided to put Maruška. I also felt inspired to include a heart in each of my paintings.
How do you feel about your own name? If you love it, great. But if you feel it doesn’t quite resonate with who you are now, change it. Some of my friends have and they feel more at ease, “more ME,” as one had said. It doesn’t have to be your legal name – just your “heart” name.
Some people are given spiritual names and their new name fits them like a glove. The Dharma name given to me by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche in a private ceremony in 2002, did not. The name itself is a mouthful: Karma Konchok Wangmo, but I also felt unworthy of the meaning, Possessor of Supreme Rare Jewel.
My name at birth, during Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s first term in office, was Eleanor Bilansky and I was named after the President’s wife, a woman I greatly admire. (My dad always called me Eleanorka.) Eleanor means Light; Bilansky means White. White Light sounded pretty good to me when I found that out a few years ago. But by then, it was many decades after I had gone to live in NYC and changed my first name to Ellen. Then I married and became Ellen Wood. Except for the year I modeled in New York and the agency owner changed my name to Ilona Wood, I’ve been Ellen Wood ever since.
Three books later, I’m ready for my new name. Why? Because I’m a different person now. I’m a painter as well as a writer.
Maruška has a smile on top of the s to give it a “sh” sound and I really like the name. Not Maruška Wood – just Maruška. A single name. Like Sting, who used to be Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner, or like Twiggy or Cher or Plato. Maruška means, “bitterness, beloved, wished-for child.” Bitterness? Well, “White Light” sounds better but besides being beloved, why not a bit of bitterness? Imagine Key Lime Pie without the tartness of that citrusy fruit. Imagine mild-mannered reporter, Clark Kent, without the zing of Superman. How bland and tedious those stories would be.
During Covid isolation and with the lack of social contact, it’s time for reflection. How do you feel about yourself? Perhaps a new name will help you shed your skin of old energy. Mull over a new name and say it to yourself over and over to feel its vibration in your heart.
Whether you take a new name or not, may you come to know the joy of expressing yourself in a different way. Let’s co-create a new world together.
Love and Blessings,
Maruška
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