Your attention is on the wrong thing
A positive revolution in change is occurring and LeadHERship Empowerment Cruise speaker and leading communication authority, Lisa Giruzzi, is heading this change. Lisa is a best selling author and transformational speaker whose unique approach causes extraordinary results, exceeding her clients’ expectations.
One of the core principles of Lisa’s work is “Communication is everything and everything is communication.” Because we are always interpreting the world around us, trying to make sense of things, making connections between different events, our thinking is where communication begins and ends.
In this article you will discover the ultimate secret to achieving positive, long lasting change that will get you on track for extraordinary results in 2013 and beyond.
Lisa Giruzzi’s appearance on the LeadHERship Cruise is sponsored by Jude Connally.
Jude Connally is a modern collection of vibrant prints and soft silhouettes that makes everyday dressing for women EASY, EXPRESSIVE and FUN; a perfect match for the philosophy behind the LeaderHERship Empowerment Cruise.
What others are saying about Lisa Giruzzi:
“We really enjoyed your presentation! We received all positive responses back on our survey; with 4 – being excellent – you received all fours!!! ~Joy Good, CPC RMM, Adirondack NYMGMA Program Chair
“Thanks for a powerful presentation and practical take-a-ways. Your examples really helped connect me to the message and your well-timed humor made this truly enjoyable. I look forward to learning more.” ~ Theresa Agresta, Partner, Allegory Studios
“The members you presented for are describing your presentation as “awesome.” They absolutely loved it; you helped them gain clarity on how to approach their goals and their role as leaders in their businesses. I can’t thank you enough for presenting to our group. You, as always, were fantastic.” ~ Anne Saile, President, The Saile Group
More information on Lisa Giruzzi is available at http://www.leadhershipcruise.com/Cruise_Speakers_4.html
Lisa’s article:
Here we are, midway through January and if you are like most people your resolutions for 2013 are a distant memory. Or perhaps you are one of the “good” ones who, even though the excitement and newness of setting the goal has faded, you are staying the course but it’s become really hard and sheer will is keeping you going. You are wondering how you are going to sustain it and now question whether the goal is even worth it.
By now you are berating yourself for failing, being weak willed or worse. I’d like you to consider it is not your fault. I am not absolving you of your personal responsibility for your success, however I assert you have had your attention on the wrong thing and THAT is not your fault.
We have all been led to believe that the source of change is simply taking new actions. A common example is the goal of losing weight. Everyone knows if you want to lose weight all you need to do is eat less and exercise more. While this is accurate it does not take into account the complexity of the issue. How do I know? Ninety-five percent of people who use this strategy fail.
What you weigh is the result (or outcome) of the design of your life. The simple “eat less, exercise more” solution is like putting a Band-Aid on a wound that requires intricate surgery.
Every result you have in your life, the ones you like and the ones you don’t, are an outcome of past thinking and past actions. So in the losing weight example, your current weight, body fat, muscle mass, overall health, etc., is the outcome of thousands of choices, decisions, beliefs and actions – most of which have been unconscious. These choices, beliefs, actions (and even lack of action) have become a system of thinking, a complex web of thought or mental model which leads to your actions in the present.
Your mental model runs you and for the most part, you have no idea what it is! You have unwritten rules, disguised as “shoulds,” about absolutely everything. These are the “of courses” to you, the common sense things you think everyone should live by. Things like:
- “I should weigh less”
- “My husband should appreciate me, say I love you, know what I need, etc., more often.”
- “If he/she loved me he would… (Fill in the blank)”
- “I should be better organized, focused, intentional, disciplined, etc.”
- “I should exercise more, eat healthier, spend more time with the kids, spouse, parents.”
- “I shouldn’t care what others think or let fear stop me.”
- “I should speak up more, delegate more, etc.”
- “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…”
You get the picture. I am not passing judgment on rules or shoulds; they are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. The question is, does the thinking “I should ______ ,” produce the result you want? Does knowing what you should do change your behavior over the long-term.
The litany of shoulds you have is the window to your mental model and the access to causing long-lasting real change. Each of the shoulds in your life represents a rule or belief to be examined with love and curiosity. Please be clear this is NOT about positive thinking. That’s like putting frosting on dog food. It may look good but it’s still dog food underneath.
Instead, objectively inquire into the rule with the intention of discovering something new. Ask questions like:
- Does this “rule” or belief work for me (produce the result I desire)?
- Am I actually taking action consistent with the belief?
- When did I learn this rule/belief?
- Does following this rule lead to joy and freedom in my life or does it constrain and limit me?
- What if this rule/belief were not true, how else could I think about it?
Here is the bottom line; in the areas of your life where you do not like your results focusing only on the actions will lead to failure. You must first and foremost focus on and assess the ways of thinking that led to the actions you took. Then, you must engage in new thinking, which will lead to new actions and new results.
When you sign up for the LeadHERship Empowerment Cruise and mention this article you will receive a step-by-step guide for exploring your rules and shoulds that will lead you to more powerful actions and exceptional results. Go to www.LeadhershipCruise.com to register and then email Lisa Giruzzi at Lisa@YourCommunicationAuthority.com to obtain your step-by-step guide absolutely free.
And, oh yes! Sign up today for this fun, empowering cruise at www.leadHERshipcruise.com.
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